march 22 2022 4:50pm

med change
med changes are always rough. the entire adjustment process with the side effects? and doing this multiple times with every new med? it sucks. it sucks alot. im not doing too great. i kinda miss just being on one ssri and staying on that one for a full year without any excess interactions because the whole journey of finding something else that works is kicking my ass.
i just got on a new srri and its still the first days and man, does it feel like it! full sweats and panicking over everything; the drifting of my reality. i feel like shit essentially, but its the entire adjustment process. which is the worst part because i dont know how long these symptoms will stick around until my body adjusts. i felt like this when i was on 15 mg of lexapro, which was my most dangerous state of mind. i found my happy medium at 20 mg and was stable for a year. i dont want to go through this stage again, my dose of this new med isnt even close to the typical prescribed amount and i feel like HELL. but i have to remind myself im adjusting. adjusting, adjustin, adjusting.
in a way, meds are like coding. theres so much trial and error to find out what works and what doesnt, so you try new things and change little things one by one. my brains like a little beat up computer and some stressed computer whiz is trying to get me to function. this is to say its affecting my ability to do much when it comes to my site. im sure ill stablize soon but this shit STINKS.