❤️🧡💛june 2 2022💚💙💜 5:39 am
this has been a funny start to pride month. i did alot of thinking and i came to the conclusion that i wasnt bi anymore, and how my attraction is mostly women leaning. sure, fictional men and my mental squad tend to make me squeal and kick my legs but i havent met a guy in real life i actually wish to be with. i dont go oogy boogy for the hot guys in public i see. if anything im jealous of how guys look and wish i was one. but girls? i watch in admiration, blushing out of my mind when i see someone i think is pretty in public.
its a weird change for me, having gone by as bisexual my entire life; having bisexual merch and more. like ive always been bi, but now this big change? its a little scary for me. because what if im wrong about liking girls? will any girls ever even want to date me? im so awkward, i might just scare them all away like ive always done. what if i look scary. or what if they think im too weird…
its crazy that thinking of guys dont give me these thoughts, but the thought of a girl knowing me does. i want a girl to care about me i guess.
this is so gay. sorry. i have history with not getting girls approval. its kinda why my relationship with my own gender stinks. ive never felt like ive been a girl correctly. not correct enough for a cool girl to nod at me or smile at me. its never that. i think thats why ive put this off so long, admitting im wlw. because i didnt feel like i belonged or have a right to want another woman to love me.
sexuality is weird. its confusing. this is new to me but i wan to grow comfortable with this new information instead of burying it away any longer.